Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Fake Butterfingers

Is anyone else out there as addicted to Pinterest as I am? I love the site and frequent it daily. I have the app on my phone. My sister and I send pictures and ideas via text message multiple times a week. Instead of browsing the web for cooking/ craft/ beauty ideas, I simply pull up the "Everything" tab and have it all at my fingertips.

Last night I attempted the butterfingers recipe from Plain Chicken's blog. Thank you, Plain Chicken and Pinterest!!! ( I loved that the recipe only called for three ingredients (hey, I am still a poor college student).

I went to my parents' for our weekly NCIS night and set the ingredients out on the counter- a jar of honey roasted peanut butter and a bag of candy corn. My sweet momma came up and asked "Oh, you're making butterfingers?". I was amazed at her powers of deduction, because I would have never guessed that! Ever! My mom is a genius.

I could only find a 24 oz bag of candy corn at my baby Target store (which meant that after I measured out two cups I had some to snack on, yum). Baby Target also did not carry the candy coat. Boo. I drizzled melted chocolate chips on top of some of my pieces, but it wasn't that good. I wouldn't recommend that.

On a side note, dark chocolate can be dairy free. But I have yet to find any dark chocolate, dairy free chips. Which is probably a sign to just stay away, but I love it so.

I found that the candy corn cooled very quickly and also got very hot, so be careful to stir quickly and use pot holders. I had to swap out my spatula for a wooden spoon to keep up with the rough consistency.

I was very happy with this recipe and would make it again. I actually really enjoyed eating mine plain and may not even bother with the candy coating in the future. If you plan on shaping the mixture for pops or using a cookie cutter, you might want to grease your hands slightly.

To change the subject to one of my favorite subjects... The hubs is currently in North Carolina for Rescue School. It sounds pretty awesome. The military has given him some great opportunities, and I'm so thankful God has lead us down this road. God really knows what He's doing. Someday maybe I will learn to be patient and trust Him. That's the goal anyway.

He sent me this picture of him rappelling after a morning lecture. Looks awesome. I wish I was getting paid to go rappelling! I also wish I got paid to sit on my couch in my flannel pj's watching Wizards of Waverly Place, but that's probably not going to happen too soon, so I'll hang onto my day job.

He is so cute!!

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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Vegan Green Bean Casserole

The main dish at bible study this week was a pasta bar (which was a very fun and new idea). Lee and I decided to make a green bean casserole, which is one of his favorite side dishes.

I found an awesome Pioneer Woman recipe on her website that involved bacon. I think my husband would love it. However, I decided to search for a version that I could actually eat.

I found the recipe by a simple Google search. I just love Google. I pretty much followed the recipe as is. Well, I followed it some. I used frozen onion (which I didn't measure out) and canned mushrooms to save money and to make my life easier as I was cooking at my in-laws' house. I accidentally bought herb and spice chicken bouillon, so I didn't add much other seasoning. I used two cans of green beans instead of one. I also didn't really know what size of fried onions to get, so I used two of the bigger Walmart brand bags. I think those are all my changes...

I think the recipe said to mix it fast as it would coagulate, but I saw no coagulation occurring. Since the final product was good (better than normal, in my opinion), I think it's ok.

Yay for a successful dairy-free recipe!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Funfetti Dip

We had a going away party for my sister last week with my dad's side of the family. All of his immediate family lives in our town, so it makes get-togethers fairly easy. We didn't meet until 7:30, so we just indulged in desserts. I made a Funfetti Dip I had seen on Pinterest. The recipe is below.

Since I'm lactose intolerant, I only ate a few bites. (I'm obviously still having an issue cooking like I can't eat dairy). I liked it, but honestly didn't find it that different from just eating icing. However, my husband loved it and ate on it all week. So I will probably make it for him again. It's also good for parties. We ate it with animal crackers. I think you could probably change up the type of cake mix or the dipping item and get pretty creative. You could probably even use it as a special frosting.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, October 7, 2011


Our house flooded early last week. I walked in to our office/ storage space to grab a pair of scrubs and experienced a gush of water flowing over my foot. What an early morning surprise!

It turned out that two rooms of the house and some hallway space had flooded. We're still not entirely sure why. We had to rip up the carpet and the house is still drying out. It smells damp and moldy. Since Lee's grandpa built the house 55-plus years ago, there are a few special aspects to that house, including the fact that the windows don't open and some lovely yellow linoleum that looks like carpet.

In a miracle show that only God can be recognized for, the majority of our stuff that was resting on the soaked carpet remained dry. Considering all the supplies my sister had been storing to take to Africa were in there, as well as three boxes of childhood memories, that was pretty dang awesome.

Staying at the in-laws has been pretty fun. I enjoy seeing them and spending time with their dogs. And they have cable! And snacks. It has been a little annoying trying to shuttle my clothes and toiletries back and forth. It seems like I never have what I need in the place I am located. It also has been a pain driving 15 minutes each way to go home and play/feed/ love on our dogs. Other than that, it has been enjoyable staying over here.

Have you ever had a flooded home? What did you do?

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Pumpkin Dump Cake

I love all things pumpkin. Lattes, ice cream, pasta. Yum. So when I saw this pumpkin dump cake recipe on Pinterest, I knew it was a must make. Here is the link to the original blog. The pictures are great and the instructions are clear and very easy.

What the pictures don't show is the bite I had to steal... I couldn't wait until bible study to try it. And boy, it is very yummy!

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Friday, August 26, 2011


You may remember me mentioning that I had a toe problem. It started as a running injury and went very wrong (it's the "ring" toe on my right foot, the little piggy that doesn't get any roast beef). It was a big ordeal- nasty, painful, and a mystery to all medical professionals. Eventually the amazing Dr Jill Jackson-Smith told me it was a wart. Which I really didn't want to admit to people, because I think warts are gross. We did a round of a topical treatment- no dice. We did a round of cantharone (blister venom)- no dice. More topical medicine- no dice. Then Dr Jill had me take a high dosage of dry Vitamin A and zinc. Within a week there was a remarkable difference. It was a miracle. And here is my toe today, almost totally healed.

Aren't feet weird?

Also, I started reading the book Go Dairy Free by Alisa Marie Fleming. I highly suggest this book to anyone needing to go dairy free. Or anyone at all, really. I have been annoying my family all night with texts if dairy facts I find fascinating.

Something the book discusses is some of the sneaky names of dairy or sneaky places it can hide. For example:

That's right- the calcium supplement I take because I an't digest milk contains milk. Really???? How aggravating and interesting at the same time.

I think I am about to get pretty radical with eliminating dairy from my diet. I am tired of the side effects.

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Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I've been thinking a lot lately about healing.  I've been waiting for my ankle to heal and waiting for my heart to heal.

My walking shoes

My child, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.- Proverbs 4:20-22

Life can get pretty rough.  We live in this fallen, awful world.  We try to do our best (most of the time) and we still end up hurt. 

I've been pondering the ways we get through our grief.  How do we find hope, comfort, peace?

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress; he sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from destruction. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wonderful works to humankind.- Psalm 107:19-21

I found this quote on
"You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp." Anne Lamott

I love this quote.  Love, love, love.  It speaks straight into my soul.

I've also been thinking about rehab.  No, not the kind the late Amy Winehouse sang about.  I've been sittting around on my lame ankle waiting for it to heal itself.  I've ignored it and ran rough on it, which made it worse.  When that didn't work I braced it up and babied it for awhile, which kept my pain at the same level.  Next I decided "Oh, screw it" and ran on it.  Which made it worse again.

The heart is the same way.  I've ignored the grievances in my heart, pushed them to the side.  Or I've pushed too hard, determined to heal myself and get through it.

I need a physical therapist for my heart...I need to admit my failings and pride and allow God to come in and perform some rehab for me. 

Why do I think I can do it myself?  Why do I resist asking the only one who can help to help?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Girls Gone Wild

A friend of mine pointed out that I didn't really "live it up" while my husband was gone.  I guess I wasted most of my time being miserable and missing him and forgot that it was my time to go crazy!  Ok, maybe not so much crazy...but I should have.  So now that he's going to be home in 9 days, I decided to have a girls' night with some of my family.  (In the top picture is his cousin, his sister's sister-in-law, his cousin's wife, his sister, and my sister.  And I'm the first one in the bottom picture.)

We went to Hu Hut, which on the Subway-in-other-food-genres idea.  It's make your own Mongolian stir-fry.  It was good, but I'm not likely to go back super often.  But it was fun to try something new.

After dinner we went back to my house for crafts, nails, and drinks.  It was a much needed time with good girlfriends.

Now I'm realizing my "single" time is about up.  So if there are any fun or wild things I need to do, tell me now!  :)

Friday, August 12, 2011

Knowing a Baby's Gender at 7 Weeks

The above is a link to a blog discussing the new JAMA article regarding non-invasive gender testing that can be done as early as seven weeks in the baby's gestation.  Wow.  That's early.  Many women don't even know that they are pregant at seven weeks.  How amazing it would be to go in for your first doctor's appointment and be told "Congrats, you're preganant, and it's a ______!".  I think it would be cool to immediately begin calling the baby by the right name (if you had decided on a name already) or begin to decorate the nursery.  If a pregnancy happened to end in loss, perhaps it would be easier for some to mourn for a child with a known gender?  (Lee and I decided that our baby was a girl, and that helped us tremendously).  How crazy is this new test?  Of course if I had my way, I wouldn't find out the gender at all until the baby came out, though my planner of a husband would never let that happen.  And I do think it seems kind of fun to have to wait until the baby either gets boy parts or girl parts to know what it is.  So perhaps I wouldn't even take advantage of this new test?

I know that it's been brought up as a great way to find out if further testing is needed.  Since some genetic disorders are more likely to affect one gender over another, I think it would be great to find out what the baby is and possibly avoid further, dangerous testing.

Fetus at Seven Weeks

But... It brings up a lot of controversy.  I'm not usually one to blog about controversial issues, but as my blog isn't that highly read, I feel like I can get away with it.  Also, all of the blogs I have found concerning this subject so far are pro-choice, giving permission to abort the baby based only on gender.

I can't agree with that.  Abortion is a subject that hurts my hard terribly to begin with (remember that I am pro-adoption, believing it to be a Christian duty to take care of the widows and orphans per James 1:27).  I'm not going to argue about abortion or even really speak on it here as not to offend anyone.  But I think that this research would provide more weight behind anti-abortion campaigns as it shows that there is life at conception.  At seven weeks a baby is a boy or a girl.  Not just a faceless fetus, but a child with a gender.  That's amazing.  It just blows my mind.

A lot of the blogs on this subject keep mentioning pro-choice.  That term is hard for me.  Because pro-choice means to me the choice to not have sex, or the choice to have protected sex.  If you remain abstinent, there is no chance of unwanted pregnancy.  If you don't want a baby, don't have sex.  There is a choice.  If you have sex, have protected sex.  Most of the time, this means you won't have a baby.  But sometimes the various forms of birth control fail (especially when used incorrectly).  I guess I just don't understand how "pro-choice" is a good choice.  A good choice for whom?  For the mother?  Because I don't see how the choice is good for the child who is not allowed to be born.

Sometimes I just want to tell people "Don't have an abortion, I'll take your baby."  And that's actually true.  If someone came to me and said "Please take my child or I'll have an abortion" I would do anything possible to get that child for myself or another safe, loving home.  I totally know that some people aren't ready to be parents (though again I say that if you're not ready for the consequence of a baby, don't have sex), some people end up with unwanted pregnancies and simply can't handle it. 

Perhaps I am being naive.  Perhaps my religion is clouding the "rational" part of my brain.  I just don't understand.  Can't understand.  Don't want to understand?

Like I said, I don't want to argue.  Please don't think that I am passing judment or condemning anyone or their choices or beliefs.  This is just a subject that is very close to my heart and very hard for me.  I've written a lot, so I must think I have something to say about it!

What Shoe Are You?

Today at work training I was priviledged to have Lori Randall, Mrs Oklahoma 2002 and Mrs. Christian World 2005, as my guest speaker.  For the first part of our training, Mrs. Randall took us through the "What Shoe Are You?" personality test.  She used shoes to illustrate each of the four personality types- combat boots, house shoes, business shoes, and clown shoes.  I was a pretty good mix of the combat boot and the clown shoes.  I loved such an applicable and visual take on personality typing.

After lunch, Mrs. Randall dove into her own personal story of post-partum depression and psychosis.  Her honesty struck a chord with me and many across the room were crying.  In our society, mental illness or mental "viruses" are still a fairly taboo subject, and I found it empowering for her to tell her tale.  Mrs. Randall showed us how despite, or perhaps because of, her past she reached for her dreams and became a pageant winner and inspirational speaker.

It really struck me hard.  How often I hold myself back... I have so many dreams, but I let life and my own fears and negative self-view keep me from God's blessings.  I am encouraged to spend some time with myself and with God dreaming of my future.  As Belle sings "I want adventure in the great, wide somewhere, I want it more than I can bear, And for once it would be grand, to have someone understand, I want so much more that they've got planned".  We have one who understands, one who has planted the seeds of greatness within us already.  How beautiful to take my desire to serve and be better than myself to the one who created me and ask Him to help me dream big.  Ephesians 3:20 and 21 tells us "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,  to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."  How awesome!  God has even bigger dreams than I do!

And we got to try on her crown! 

When I first got married, I used to wear my wedding tiara every time I did housework.  My poor husband probably wondered what he had gotten himself into.  I keep trying to convince him that I need a new one, but he's not quite sold on the necessity of my request.  Perhaps if I can prove that crystals = faster cleaning?  I'll let you know how that works out for me.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

What It's Worth

The air conditioner at work is broken:

Which led to this being a viable option to beat the 112 degree heat:

Which caused me to seek out a cold dinner, which I rarely, if ever, do. Tonight's dinner had a theme... Dairy and chocolate. Dairy, which I am not allowed to have (bad lactose intolerance, bad) and chocolate, which I probably shouldn't have (bad Katherine, bad).

I ate two bowls of cereal and felt very satisfied. Like deep in my core, let a loud sigh escape, completely satisfied. Yum.

After I ate my cereal and reclined on the living room floor aimlessly browsing through Netflix trying to find a funny tv show to watch, I finally decided to run. I ran on th treadmill in my game room, and it was hot in there!

Here is my mid-run sweaty face:

If my calculations are correct, I did three miles in 32 minutes. Which is about six minutes faster than maybe my math was wrong? (I walked the first .27 miles in 5:07 minutes and then my final time was 37:14 for 3.4 miles).

Post run sweat and delirium:

Tonight was the first run in over a month that felt good. My ankle bothered me a little, but my brain felt clear and my muscles felt loose. This was the first run in soooo long that didn't feel like torture. It reminded me why I like to run. It gave me the push I needed to keep going.

I also tried to do the Ab Ripper X video from P90X. Some day I will make it further than 5 minutes into that video. But today is not that day. Tomorrow's not looking so good either.

Tonight just felt right, you know? Good food, good workout, good company (hey, I am excellent company!). It feels nice to have a spot of peace.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Bedlam Run

Yesterday my friend Stephanie and I participated in our local Fleet Feet's Bedlam run.  I did the 5k and Stephanie did the 10k.

My race was pretty dissappointing.  My ankle is still bothering me from where I rolled it last week, so that hindered my running. It was super hot outside, and the course had a pretty major hill right in the middle.

Here we are at the beginning of the race:

Here I am after I had to fall back so that I could walk a bit for my ankle.  I've never had to walk in a 5k before.  Oh well.  Final time was 38:44.  It's a PW by about three minutes.

I am also coming to the realization that I am just not in the shape that I was in the spring.  I keep trying to fake it and then feeling like a failure.  All of my long Saturday runs have ended badly (one with me wandering around lost in downtown Tulsa with no phone or car keys).

I spoke with my half-marathon coach about it, and I think that I am going to bump down to a slower pace group.  At first I was kind of depressed about having to go down to a slower group.  But I felt like I was failing every week, and I knew that soon I would stop trying.  I would like to succeed, and that means bumping down.  I am choosing not to view this negatively.  I am still running, still being healthy, still out there every week trying.  And at the end, I will still be running a half marathon.  I will be winning!

On a Stick

I recently discovered that I have a subscription to Amazon Prime.  I guess when I bought my Kitchen Aid mixer last December I also purchased that.... whoops.  At an $80 price tag, it would have been nice to consciously make that decision.  Now that I have free shipping on so many wonderful items, I have had to watch my impulse to buy, buy, buy.  One of the things that did not escape the beauty of free shipping and reduced pricing was a new cookbook called On a Stick by Matt Armendariz.

This cookbook is AWESOME.  When it came in the mail, I instantly sat down and began to "read" it.  There isn't hardly a recipe in the book that I'm not excited to make.  The book covers a range of cooking skills and includes flavors from around the world.  I am especially pumped about the chicken and waffles recipe and the bacon wrapped ship.  I can't wait to try the pizza skewers or the cinnamon rolls.  Yay! 

Monday, July 25, 2011

They're Real

I am a self- confessed mascara addict. Since my awkward preteen days of blue eyeshadow and chalky pink blush, mascara has been my favorite beauty product. I am picky about what I like and have high expectations, especially of "nice" mascara. I shock my mother frequently when she asks the price of my mascara (this coming from a woman who has used Maybelline Great Lash for longer than I've been alive).

I have a new favorite mascara- Benefit's They're Real. It has a plastic hard brush, which I normally hate. And I did end up poking my right eye somewhat severely. But I am amazed at this formula. My eyelashes were longer, curled, and had more volume. The box lists instructions for using the wand vertically as well as horizontally- I ignored that and put my mascara on the way I always have.

Here is the link to their website: I figured you would enjoy their professional photographs more than my crazy iPhone 3GS pictures.

Well, I couldn't resist a few of my own shots...



This mascara is awesome.

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Sunday, July 24, 2011


There are some numbers that have been chasing each other around in my head the last few days.  I have been sick with what I thought was strep (the nurse practioner at a local urgent care deemed it an upper respiratory infection), so perhaps the physical drama wore me down enough to give room for the emotional drama.  I am in a funky place of being somewhat depressed and not being able to solve it with a run or a good book.


38- days until my husband will be home again
19- weeks since he has been gone
363- days since the ultrasound revealing my baby had died
13- weeks pregnant when we lost our baby Nora
12- hours until my sister gets on a plane for Africa for two years
141.5- the number on the scale today (the highest it has ever been)
124- the number on the scale at this time last year
3- the amount of miles I can run without stopping
6- the amount of miles I should be able to run without stopping as per my training schedule
16- hours I slept yesterday when feeling so sick
3:30- the time I fell asleep this morning

Most of the numbers listed above are fairly depressing.  I have had some sad things on my heart lately, and it can be hard to shake them off.  I am really dreading the one year anniversary of my miscarriage.  I am still journeying towards acceptance and peace, knowing that I will get there someday.  And having my sweet husband far away makes the anniversary of losing our sweet baby much sharper.  My husband is such a comfort to me, always leading me to the LORD and reminding me of His promises.  I will always miss my baby, but I am so aware that she is in heaven already and that God has a plan for my life that will bring Him glory.  Lee and I will have babies someday, somehow.  I just miss the baby that I never got to hold.

It's funny how the number on the scale pops out like a sumo wrestler to throw down.  The number is a number, not my identity or my self worth.  Yet I let it drag my mood to a gross place, a place of self-loathing and despair.  I am working out six days a week and eating (mostly) right.  And I need to continue to do those same things.  No crazy dieting, no toxic pills.  I know what it means to be healthy, and that should be my goal.  Weight-loss and fitness are not quickly achieved. 

My sister's departure came sooner than anticipated.  I can't believe it's already time for her to go.  I am so proud of her.  I am somewhat jealous of the adventures to come.  I have loved having her as my roommate the last nineteen weeks and am going to miss her severely.

Do you ever get in a funk?  How do you deal when your "funk" is not just a bad or lethargic mood, but actually based on real, sad events in your life?

Monday, July 4, 2011

My hunny came home!

My sweet airman was granted leave for the holiday weekend. He and a friend drove a rental car and picked up a third friend along the way. Lee dropped them off in a nearby college town, and then came to see me!

The dogs were a little mad at first, especially Callie, who is "his" dog. But they got over it.

Of course our first stop was at our favorite gas and drink place. I seriously love Quik Trip.

And of course I was a girl and all worries about how funky my bangs were acting.

With his good looking family at Outback. When Lee left, his sister was still engaged. When Lee came back, he had a new brother!! Pretty cool.

Us in the car on the way to see my parents and sisters. It kind of stunk that my brother and Lee misses each other at home by two days, but they will both be home by September. Then they can have brother time.

Lee and I at his granny's for Sunday dinner. Almost the whole family was there. I love when we are all together. And his grandma made his "Branson dinner", which is apparently a form of succotash. Lee said it was the first time he's had seconds since before he left.

Here we are on a date!!! We went to Los Cabos. Yum. There was a live band and fireworks. And a storm warning. Of course, it's Oklahoma.

I love this man. He leaves in less than six hours to finish technical school. But he will be home in eight weeks!!!!!!!!!!

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Snapshots from the Ol' Iphone

My baby brother suprising us after being gone for a summer intership

Getting dressed up

First time at a casino- Heather's bachelorette party

Two feathers and some highlights.  Oh, and bangs.  Why bangs?  Bad decision.

This is what I look like when I wake up...

My sisters are GORGEOUS

I came home to this taking up half of my driveway

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Technical School and Missing My Man

When my husband told me he wanted to enlist in the Air National Guard, my first response was a resounding "No."  And that no remained on my lips for weeks as I nodded in agreement to his choice, as I smiled to our friends and family when he told them the news, as I kissed him in support on his way to the recruiter's office.

Sometimes marriage is holding back your no.  Holding back your fear, your sadness, your bossiness, in order to let the other person say yes.  Sometimes their yes is more important than your no.  Your no may be right, but their yes is more right. 

His yes is motivated by different reasons than my no.  Losing the baby gave him a different outlook.  He was going to be a father, and then he wasn't going to be a father anymore.  Someday he will have a chance to be a father again, and he needs to be ready.  He needs to know that he is the best father he can be to our future children.

His yes is driven by his desire to see who he can be, when he is only himself.  His yes has been waiting inside for years as he has grown up in the same town, as he has stayed safe and gone to school and worked jobs that were expected of him.  His yes was expecting to be given a chance to be proven, to be tested, to be shouted.  His yes has been fighting inside of him for years.  Perhaps his yes could have escaped if we lived in a different life?  If we hadn't gotten married at such a tender age, if he gone away to college, if he had military family members?

His yes was patient.  His yes was ready.  His yes knew that the right time was waiting, that it was coming, that it was here.

This isn't a path I would have chosen.  He has been gone for fourteen weeks, and I miss him.  I ache for him.  I can hardly be without him.  I lie awake and night staring into the darkness, staying on my own side.  I spend money however I want, on shirts and dog toys and fast food.  I stay up late.  I am a version of myself that I may have been if I had been single somewhere along the line, if I hadn't gotten married at nineteen and moved from my parents' house to my husband's house.

My no has truth to it.  But his yes is more than my no.  Sometimes marriage is choosing to say "I am doing this for you", selflessly, maybe even selfishly.  Because if my no had turned in to his no, would he be unhappy?  Would he resent me?  Would he feel guilty for denying a dream he had held onto for all of those years?

And someday I will be glad for his yes.  I will be glad for a husband who is true to himself, to his dreams, to his future.  I will be proud of him.

Tonight I just miss him.