I've been thinking a lot lately about healing. I've been waiting for my ankle to heal and waiting for my heart to heal.
My walking shoes
My child, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.- Proverbs 4:20-22
Life can get pretty rough. We live in this fallen, awful world. We try to do our best (most of the time) and we still end up hurt.
I've been pondering the ways we get through our grief. How do we find hope, comfort, peace?
Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress; he sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from destruction. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wonderful works to humankind.- Psalm 107:19-21
"You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp." —
Anne Lamott
I love this quote. Love, love, love. It speaks straight into my soul.
I've also been thinking about rehab. No, not the kind the late Amy Winehouse sang about. I've been sittting around on my lame ankle waiting for it to heal itself. I've ignored it and ran rough on it, which made it worse. When that didn't work I braced it up and babied it for awhile, which kept my pain at the same level. Next I decided "Oh, screw it" and ran on it. Which made it worse again.
The heart is the same way. I've ignored the grievances in my heart, pushed them to the side. Or I've pushed too hard, determined to heal myself and get through it.
I need a physical therapist for my heart...I need to admit my failings and pride and allow God to come in and perform some rehab for me.
Why do I think I can do it myself? Why do I resist asking the only one who can help to help?
Love this post Katherine! I to have been going through some of the same stuff with the loss of my brother a few months back. I ask the same question...why is it so hard for me to let God do the healing. I think sometimes it is because we want to not have to feel the hurt, or at least that is what I think. If we can just move past the hurt and not think about it we will be okay. So not true. God is the only one who can really heal the heart so that we can move on and dance with a limp. :) I'll be praying for you and your healing. Lots of love! Jenn
ReplyDeleteGod gives us such comfort through his word during these times. We just need to seek his face and let him heal. SOmetimes that is so hard because it means being vulnerable. ya know? Thank you for such a honest post. I'll be praying.
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